"Bhikkhus, these eight worldly conditions revolve around the world, and the world revolves around these eight worldly conditions. What eight? Gain and loss, disrepute and fame, blame and praise, and pleasure and pain. These eight worldly conditions revolve around the world, and the world revolves around these eight worldly conditions."
(AN 8.5, Paṭhamalokadhammasutta)
All of us at certain point in our lives are faced with criticisms and praise concerning to our work, activities, opinions, ideas, thoughts, possessions, family, relatives, friends, connections etc. When we are faced with either criticism or praise, two things occur within our minds: conceit (māna) coupled with elation when praised, or anger/worry/sadness (dosa) coupled with unpleasant feelings when blamed. Criticism (blame) and praise are mentioned by the Buddha as two of the eight wordly conditions: lokadhamma. These conditions are termed so because they are inevitable experiences that everyone will face at some point in life, inseparable from our existence. Recognising their inevitability, our focus should be on preparing our minds to tolerate and handle these conditions in the most skillful manner possible when they arise.
One time, the Buddha was travelling between Rājagaha and Nālanda and he was met with two wanderers: the first is the teacher Suppiya who constantly proclaims the faults and dispraise of the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, and the other is his pupil Brahmadatta who constantly praises the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, making contradictions against each other. At that time, the Buddha said to his disciples:
"If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should not give way to resentment, displeasure, or animosity against them in your heart. For if you were to become angry or upset in such a situation, you would only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If you were to become angry or upset when others speak in dispraise of us, would you be able to recognize whether their statements are rightly or wrongly spoken?”
“Certainly not, Lord.”
“If, bhikkhus, others speak in dispraise of me, or in dispraise of the Dhamma, or in dispraise of the Sangha, you should unravel what is false and point it out as false, saying: ‘For such and such a reason this is false, this is untrue, there is no such thing in us, this is not found among us.’
“And if, bhikkhus, others speak in praise of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you should not give way to jubilation, joy, and exultation in your heart. For if you were to become jubilant, joyful, and exultant in such a situation, you would only be creating an obstacle for yourselves. If others speak in praise of me, or in praise of the Dhamma, or in praise of the Sangha, you should acknowledge what is fact as fact, saying: ‘For such and such a reason this is a fact, this is true, there is such a thing in us, this is found among us.’
What the Buddha expounded was simple and beautiful:
When faced with blame or criticisms, we often experience a range of unwholesome emotions collectively known as "dosa." While many associate dosa solely with anger, it actually encompasses various negative states such as worry, ill-will, hostility, malice, sadness, lamentation, remorse, envy, stinginess, selfishness, and sorrow, to name a few. This unwholesome mental state hinders our ability to respond wisely and skilfully in the present moment, leading us to engage in unwise actions that yield unfruitful results. In essence, holding onto dosa is similar to grasping a burning piece of charcoal with the intention of throwing it at those we blame, but instead, we end up hurting ourselves first. Hence, it becomes essential to emotionally detach ourselves from the blame and not participate in it with wise attention.
What does this wise attention entail? It involves understanding and reflecting on the impermanence of conditioned phenomena. By cultivating this wise understanding, we realise that the current situation, no matter how challenging, is impermanent and shall eventually pass. Considering our countless existences throughout the cycle of saṃsarā, we must develop realisation that facing blame and criticism is not a novel experience; it has occurred in our past lives and moments several times. Therefore, there is no need to be upset about it. Just as past experiences have already passed away, the present situation will also dissolve in due course.
The Buddha further advised that when we are unjustly criticised or blamed for things we did not do, we should respond calmly and wisely by pointing out the inaccuracies, instead of engaging in conflicts and arguments. By distinguishing truth from fallacy and detaching ourselves emotionally, we can maintain equanimity, wholesome mental state and avoid unnecessary conflicts.
When receiving praise for our actions, it's crucial not to become excessively elated or proud. Most people desire being praised only and most of the time, people tend to forget how to wisely control their mental states when getting praised constantly. This lack of wise attention can lead to the development of conceit (māna), an unwholesome mental state. Continuous praise might cause some individuals to become self-absorbed and narcissistic. However, when faced with blame or criticism, their fragile mental foundation may be unable to cope, leading to extreme forms of dosa, possibly resulting in depression (a form of dosa) or even engaging in malicious actions toward those who blame them.
To navigate this situation, it's essential to remain mindful when receiving praise. Rather than getting overly attached to it, we should accept the praise with wise attention, knowing that like everything else, this experience is impermanent and shall pass. As mentioned earlier, praise and blame are part of the cyclical nature (lokadhamma) of our existence, and there's no need to become upset about it. By acknowledging the truth in the praise without emotional attachment, we can maintain equanimity and avoid being swayed by external opinions. Just as past experiences have come and gone, the current situation will also eventually dissolve.
In summary, cultivating mindfulness when praised and blamed helps us handle the experience with wisdom and without conceit and anger, allowing us to remain grounded and balanced in the face of both praise and blame.
An important aspect to consider when detaching is that it should be done with equanimity (upekkhā), free from both love and hatred. Detachment does not involve pushing away blame or praise in the hope that they will naturally fade away, driven by a fear of confrontation. Instead, as the Buddha taught, we should "acknowledge" them. This means accepting blame for what it is and accepting praise for what it is. We understand and recognise blame and praise factually, without becoming emotionally attached to them.
Furthermore, I would like to introduce another beneficial practice: wise reflection on the words of the other party. Take a moment to contemplate why they said what they said. Did their words stem from jealousy, hatred, love, affection, or appreciation? Through this reflection, we can identify areas in which we may be lacking, identify our strengths and understand how blame and praise can serve as tools for personal growth in the long run. Additionally, it is essential to cultivate mettā (loving-kindness), karuṇā (compassion), muditā (sympathetic joy), and upekkhā (equanimity) towards those who blame or praise us. By doing so, we prevent the cultivation of ill-will, malice, craving, or attachment towards them.
Here, I would like to additionally point out a very subtle form of conceit and anger that arises from meditation. Oftentimes, some practitioners may feel an inflated sense of pride and conceit when praised by their teachers for their progress. This can happen when they believe their meditation abilities surpass those of their fellow practitioners, such as being able to meditate at deeper levels, sit for longer periods, discern faster, or engage in advanced vipassanā practices.
This subtle form of conceit can pose a major obstacle to both concentration and insight practice. It leads to a constant seeking of confirmation and appreciation from fellow meditators and teachers, diverting their focus from cultivating wise attention and acceptance of their present practice. As a result, equanimity with their practice may be lost, and if you are someone who has already attained higher levels of vipassanā knowledge, this hindrance can pose a great danger to further advancing towards saṅkhārupekkha-ñāṇa (knowledge of equanimity towards formations). To prevent this hindrance, practitioners must remain mindful and reflect wisely on their mental traits. It is essential to honestly inquire whether such traits of conceit and pride are present within ourselves. If they identify such tendencies, it is crucial to pay wise attention, learn how to detach ourselves emotionally from such tendencies, and have an open conversation with their teacher. For those engaged in vipassanā practice, it is beneficial to contemplate on both unwholesome and vipassanā mind moments (arūpasattaka). This contemplation helps one recognise the impermanent nature of all conditioned phenomena and the inherent suffering in holding onto such traits and tendencies – analogous to grasping a hot charcoal.
By mindfully addressing these challenges, practitioners can develop a more balanced and fruitful meditation practice, free from the entanglements of conceit.
Some meditators may experience negative feelings related to their practice, such as worry, anxiety, restlessness, or anger. Consequently, they might blame themselves for not making the desired progress. If you find yourself in this situation, it's a perfect opportunity to engage in wise reflection on your practice and all your meditation sessions. Take the time to identify any areas where you might be facing challenges, whether it's the need for more dedication, addressing hindrances, or putting in extra effort.
It is crucial to recognise and appreciate the small positive changes that occur with each sitting due to subtle developments in mindfulness and wisdom. Progress can be seen in simple improvements, like being able to sit for a few minutes longer, staying with the meditation object for a slightly more extended period, returning to the object more quickly, or becoming more adept at observing subtle objects. Remember, progress in meditation often occurs gradually and steadily: slow and steady wins the race!
There's no need to feel pressured to achieve significant results in each meditation session and a good teacher will never let you feel that way. What truly matters is that you earnestly practice and do what is necessary. However, it is equally essential to dedicate sufficient time to your practice, as progress depends on the effort, time and commitment invested. In this pursuit, there are no shortcuts on the noble eightfold path; it requires sincere dedication and time to the practice itself. Keep in mind that progress may vary for each individual, and there's no one-size-fits-all timeline. Be patient with yourself and trust in the process, knowing that with consistent effort and mindfulness, progress will unfold naturally. If you encounter difficulties, don't hesitate to have an open and honest conversation with your teacher, seeking guidance and support on your meditation journey.
If you find yourself making genuine efforts and being diligent, yet still experience negative feelings towards yourself or others, it could be a general sense of negativity. In such cases, practice mettā (loving-kindness), karuṇā (compassion), muditā (sympathetic joy), and upekkhā (equanimity) towards yourself and others. Stay mindful of the present moment and avoid getting entangled in unproductive thoughts. Additionally, make sure to have an open and honest conversation with your teacher to receive proper guidance and support.
All these options presented are easier said than done! When practicing these mindfulness techniques, make sure to give yourself ample time to understand them and learn how to apply these methods to yourself in real life. What truly counts is taking action — begin your practice now, and you will witness rewarding outcomes in the not-so-distant future.
May you all realise the four noble truths in this lifetime.